Imagine yourself surrounded by soft jazz, cushy chairs and hot mocha espressos. You've just entered your favorite cafe - and you're there to curl up, relax, and eavesdrop on the latest! This is no ordinary cafe with ordinary conversation. Each one of our Body Type Dialogue stories illustrates how the different body types think, react and deal with each other. You may read a story about a Heart man gushing over a cute latte-drinking Adrenal girl. Or, a Thyroid man may be discussing his marketing budget with his Lymph supervisor. Wherever the conversation leads you, you'll come away with a better understanding of the 25 Body Types, and learn how they may react in real-life conversations.
We hope you enjoy these whimsical stories and they help you gain a deeper understanding of the 25 Body Types.
"Dr. Sedonita? Hey, Dr. Sedonita! Dr. ....." "
"Oh, hello, Cindy, I was so engrossed in my book I didn't hear you. You know how some of us Stomach types can be. Of course my wife is just the opposite. She's always externally aware of things. She hears me come into a room right away. If you think about it that's just like the stomach, it focuses all its attention on the food it's digesting, and the Stomach body type focuses on what's in front of them."
"Yes, I know, you told me that last time. What I wanted to talk to you about are the other qualities of a Stomach type. Last time we got together you promised that the next time we met you were going to tell me everything."
"Hmmm, let me think about that for a moment."
"Okay, pull up a chair young lady, and get that waiter over here, I want a refill on my cafe mocha. First things first."
"Great, I have a lot of questions for you. I'm hoping that since you are a Stomach type like my husband, you'll be able to help me understand him better. There are some times where I just can't figure him out. It just gets so frustrating."
"My wife's a Stomach type like me, and she says the same thing. Imagine that!"
"Will you be serious for a minute?"
"Good. Then you can tell me why Adam is feeling so glum lately."
"Well, what's his passion in life? What does he love to do?"
"He loves to play classical guitar, but he hasn't had any time with his hectic work schedule."
"Okay, that explains it. You see, Stomach types have an inner passion that when ignited allows us to truly live in the present moment. It's this focus and passion that enables us to get things done. For me, igniting my passion brings an aliveness to everything I undertake. The area where this aliveness is especially apparent is music. You can really see it when I'm playing my guitar, or in my wife when she dances."
"So how do you deal with problems?"
"When I'm dealing with a problem, I usually talk it out, either by myself or with someone else. We have a distinct need to vent when there is something upsetting us, and it's important for Stomach types to be verbal about it. It's very important for my wife to vent but it's not because she wants to get advice from me. It took me a while to realize that, but it made a big difference in our relationship when we learned we could just listen to each other and not feel we had to fix the other's problem."
"That's an extremely important point."
"There's a physical need to vent as well as a psychological one for Stomach types. This is why self- expression through dance or some movement or exercise is extremely important for us. Stuffing our feelings is not healthy."
"My wife has been through a lot of personal growth over the years, so she's not a typical Stomach like me. She's more intuitive. She'll meditate to assist her in getting answers or guidance. Logic is not her favorite thing because she's so creative. She trusts her intuition over her logic. I think women have it easier than men. To me it's just so foreign, but it's definitely something she developed as a Stomach type, we naturally tend to trust logic over feelings. I'm more secure with that."
"So if you just trust logic, how do you know you haven't missed something?"
"I make my decisions very carefully. I'm extremely observant, and when I feel I have all the information I need, I chew the data until I have sufficiently digested it. Then I'm able to deal effectively with problems. I have a strong mental and physical orientation to reality, and I prefer to develop an intellectual grasp of a situation before taking action. One way that I make things clearer and easier to understand is by compartamentalizing them."
"Can that make Stomach types extremely organized? Adam seems to get quite compulsive about certain things. He has a schedule that he colors in. When you cross out an item you need a ruler, so you cross it out evenly. In fact one day for fun I turned the paper weight on his desk just a few degrees, and he had a fit. He noticed it right away."
"Although the levels of compulsive behavior can vary, that is definitely a good example of what Stomach types can be like."
"I wonder if that is connected at all with doing things correctly, or not wanting to make mistakes. Adam seems to be that way, and is very hard on himself."
"Actually, with an underdeveloped self-esteem I used to be quite self-critical and hard on myself, negatively evaluating what I did as less than I could or should do. It's fairly common for Stomach types to be perfectionists, so doing things right is very important, but feeling satisfied with our efforts is relatively rare for us."
"Why is that?"
"I can probably answer that best with an illustration. My wife is a choreographer and dancer. I remember going to see her in one of her performances. She looked so beautiful. I remember that night vividly, three thousand people in the audience, and there she was on the stage, dancing with such strength and expression. The audience was mezmerized. She commanded rapt attention. When it was over, the applause went on for some time. They gave her a standing ovation. I went back stage to see her, and to my surprise she was not as pleased with her performance as the three thousand people who came to see her that night."
"It was her expectations of herself. She expected her performance to be exactly as she had choreographed it. She uses her physical expression or performance as a way of validating herself or defining who she is."
"So is that why it's so important for Stomachs to do things well?"
"Yes, in fact, as a Stomach type I have a need for certitude, or to be right. I would further say that mentally, and closely linked to this need is the desire to feel in control of things."
"Adam does seem most at ease when dealing with matters that are provable and within his sphere of control. At least that's what I've noticed . He also can be so stubborn about things."
"I have been known to embrace viewpoints with a constancy that approaches stubbornness."
"You're stubborn, too?"
"About some things I can be. I can also be very skeptical, especially when a new idea flies in the face of some cherished belief I've held. I tend to trust my intellect over my feelings. Stubborness in Stomach types shows up when we don't want to do something."
"Oh you don't need to tell me that. When Adam doesn't want to do something, he definitely will not budge."
"On the positive side, stubborness can translate into persistence that assists us in accomplishing our goals."
"So what would you guess is getting in the way of the communication between my husband and me?"
"Pleasing others, and conflict."
"The key motivator for change for us is our desire to please others. It's not really that surprising since our sense of self-worth is generally tied to the responses of those around us. My wife, as a Stomach type cut back on her dancing to please me. Though it was hard for her to do that, she did so to please me. She cares a lot about me. Eventually though, this became a source of conflict for her. It took her a long time before she was able to confront me about it, but she finally did. At work, I may push through difficult barriers primarily because I thrive on the acknowledgment and recognition that my accomplishments can bring me."
"So you get really caught up with what other people think of you, does that make you worry about your appearance too?"
"It can, depending on my sense of security. I can be overly focused on my physical appearance, or how my behavior is perceived, because I'm so concerned with winning other people's approval."
"Doesn't that affect you when dealing with conflict?"
"Of course it can. Conflict even by itself is quite a buzz word for Stomach types. It would be hard to please people and be able to "get in their face" to confront an issue at the same time, wouldn't it?"
"Yes, I see what you mean."
"Unless we have reached a certain point in our personal development, dealing with interpersonal conflict is not one of our stronger suits. Since discord and disagreement with others can tap into old feelings of insecurity, I myself am even likely to take the other person's words, particularly those of my wife, too personally and then over-react. When a situation threatens to get difficult, my impulse is to become evasive, avoidant, or to leave the scene altogether. Most of the time I simply retreat to my study and sit there for a while. My wife calls it my cave. You know how it is, attempting to comfort or console yourself in isolation, feeling inclined to withdraw from others."
"No, I don't think so. When I feel upset about something I don't want to be alone, I want to talk it out with Adam."
"Oh that's right, you're not a Stomach type are you?"
"No. So, when do you come out of your cave?"
"Sometimes it takes an hour or it could take a day. It depends how long I feel the need to be in my own world. It's the emotional aspects of the conflict that make me so uneasy. So much so, that directly confronting the problem sometimes seems much too hazardous for me. I think it has everything to do with how we feel about ourselves. Once you define who you are, it's easier to transform a problem instead of stuff it away. This used to be such a problem for me. In the past, I've used food and sometimes alcohol, but the goal is the same: to combat or "insulate against," intolerable feelings of emptiness and deprivation."
"Is that a result of low self-esteem?"
"I know of several Stomach types like myself that had to grow up in homes where they felt suppressed and devalued. As adults, it's essential that we successfully deal with issues of not being good enough, if we're to come fully into our own and realize all our innate potential".
"Has your ability to deal with conflict improved over the years?"
"Yes, as I've matured and gained experience, I've become more comfortable and adept at resolving conflict. Female Stomach types are usually better at this and do it faster than males, but I've come a long way."
"So conflict isn't as much of a problem area for you as it used to be?"
"Not so much anymore. I actually enjoy tickling and wrestling with my wife and kids because it creates the opportunity for me to "do battle" in an affectionately teasing or fun sort of way. It just feels safer to explore conflict that way."
"Maybe that would help Adam. He just really seems uptight lately, and completely avoids dealing with our issues. If he would become more comfortable with conflict that would help our communication a lot. At least Adam has a lot of drive when it comes to work. Is that true for you as well?"
"Yes it is, and maybe I'm a bit extreme at times but I feel that other Stomach types share the same type of devotion to their endeavors that I do."
"What kind of determination are we talking about here?"
"At times my determination may drive me to put forth an effort that places excessive strain on my body. I can be quite effective once I decide to undertake something. I apply myself wholeheartedly to a project, sometimes without so much as taking a break, till it's finally completed."
"That sounds awful."
"It's really not. In fact, through devoting myself to my endeavors, I find myself more imaginative, innovative, and enterprising as well as adaptable, if I need to be. When I'm absorbed in a state of creativity, I certainly don't feel like I'm working."
"I think that some of Adam's drive might come from a fear of failing. What do you think?"
"Unless Stomach types have serious problems with self-esteem, they typically enjoy testing themselves and rising to challenges. I think he's just achievement-oriented. The sense of achievement I have experienced in my work is substantial. It's an "ultimate high", so to speak. Even though challenging himself may provoke a certain amount of personal anxiety, his determination to realize his goal is generally enough to overcome whatever fears of failure he may harbor. It's meeting the challenges that gives meaning to his life. It really helps if you can be supportive of him. Besides, I don't see failure as anything other than losing a little time."
"How are you at self-expression? Do you withhold your feelings from your wife if there is something wrong?"
"I can be quite expressive in social relationships or in some artistic mode, but when it comes to communication in relationships, where I am strongly invested, I tend to withhold. I keep hoping the situation wil be forgotten and everything will be okay. But because I know that good communication is essential for my marriage to work, and because it is such a high priority for me, I consciously strive to be open and honest."
"There is hope for him after all!"
"Let's get another round of coffee over here, but in the meantime is there anything else you want to know?"
"Is there anything else to know?"
"My favorite color is blue, and my favorite band is the Beatles."
"Okay Dr. Sedonita, I think I've got enough. Thanks for your time."
"No problem Cindy, and Cindy...."
"Remember what I've told you, and it'll all work out."